When you get married, you take the vows to be with your spouse “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part”. Some of us really have taken our vows quite literally, well the ‘death do us part” part. I am not saying this is bad, I mean it is good for a marriage to spend time together. To enjoy each others company, laugh with each other, and really just connect with your husband. However, many times we women tend to take it too literally and barely make time for our friends, which can also be a strain on your marriage. Let’s face it ladies, men really don’t find our topic of conversations all that interesting ALL the time. My husband could care less about my new shirt I bought or whether the new nail polish color goes well with my feet. It’s healthy and good for us women to make that girl time and keep it.
I find that I am very guilty in keeping my vows of marriage too much. I LOVE being with my husband, we always have such a good time together, but he too understands how important it is for us to spend some time apart. He is very good about making his friend time, but I do have quite the hard time making time for my friends. Before I make plans with people I say that I need to check my husband’s schedule. I should say though, that my husband does not work a normal schedule. He works at a hospital which makes most of his work hours weekends and nights…which is opposite of my schedule, I work a 7:30-4:30 Monday through Friday schedule. That means our schedules are pretty much opposite, so when we do have time overlapping I tend to find myself choosing to spend time with my husband more than hanging out with my friends. I have missing baby showers, wedding showers, monthly girls night dinners, and just weekends away visiting a friend who only live 6 hours away (sorry Sarah).
So when my old roommates from when I was 19 wanted to plan a getaway, I thought this could be my perfect time to make more time for my friends. We planned a 5 day trip to Destin, FL. Hoping to catch some rays, relax, and just enjoy each other’s company. This was our first time we have ever planned a trip together and I was super excited. I mean, it’s been 10 years since we have lived with each other. The last time I saw them was our weddings, which were 3 years ago. I am so glad that I made the decision to go. Each of us have changed all so much since we were 19 year-olds living in our tiny, 90 degree heated, 4 bedroom apartment in Minnesota. We have all moved to different states, gotten married or engaged, graduated college, changed jobs, bought houses, and so much more.
Though the weather in Destin wasn’t what we expected, we still had a great time together! It was nice to sit down with a bottle of wine and just talk all about girly things that our significant others probably would rather gouged their ears out then hear. We broke into the pool in the condo, got kicked out of it and laughed the whole time doing it. We went fishing together, had our mani and pedi day, ate wonderful food, and really just enjoyed each other’s company. All in all, I got back totally exhausted, not in the best mood (flight was canceled), but it was totally worth it. For a person like me, who has moved every four years of her life, it is great to find such wonderful friends that I have had for 10 year now. I just hope the next time we do this, it won’t be a 20 year reunion!
Though I missed my husband, I think the time away was good for us. I came home to a husband that missed me considerably and even offered to go grocery shopping with me just to spend some extra time together. The moral of this story is: making time for your friends isn’t betraying your vows. It’s healthy to be apart from each other and make some good memories with your friends. It helps you grow more as a person and it reminds you how much your spouse really means to you. Besides, a little absence can really make the heart grow fonder!
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